Understanding Bonding and Attachment in Parenting

While bonding and attachment are closely linked and often used interchangeably, it is important to understand the differences.

Bonds, or the process of bonding, refers to the emotional connections or ties between two individuals. In parenting, bonding refers to the deep emotional connection that develops between a parent and their child. This connection is crucial for the child’s emotional, psychological, and social development, as well as the parent’s caregiving experience. Bonding can occur at any stage of a child’s life but often begins during pregnancy and strengthens after birth through daily interactions. The presence or absence of bonding lays the foundation for attachment as the child grows.

Similarly, bonding begins to form between a child and their caregiver, often starting even before birth. For children, this process involves recognizing, responding to, and feeling comforted by their caregiver’s presence and actions.

While bonding is mutual and involves both the parent and child, in the early stages, the child’s bond with the parent is more focused on immediate sensory experiences and responses rather than the deeper, enduring emotional connection that defines attachment.

Attachment is a specific psychological concept that refers to the deep and enduring emotional connection that forms between a child and their caregiver, often the mother. This attachment is more complex, begins to develop between 6 and 9 months after birth, and forms the basis for the child’s sense of security and ability to build and maintain relationships later in life

Attachment is a product of the bond that begins during pregnancy and is solidified through early experiences with the caregiver.

“Parenthood is above all a relationship, not a skill to be acquired. Attachment is not a behaviour to be learnt but a connection to be sought”
– Gabor Matè